


A Wanted Son

by Tirlaeyn



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Family Feels, Finn's parents, Gen, Origin Story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 21:56:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5718547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tirlaeyn/pseuds/Tirlaeyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Finn's birth parents, and their search for the boy they named Matheen.</p><p>***Okay I deleted a couple chapters, because I want to try to make this compliant with Make Us Who We Are. And maybe actually finish it. We'll see.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Boy is Born (and lost)

He was a wanted son. 

Marya and Shatvi had talked for years that when the time was right, when they had saved up money and settled down in a comfortable place, they would try for a child. He was conceived a bit sooner than they had planned, but when Marya told Shatvi she was pregnant, they were both ecstatic. 

Marya went about collecting the things they would need for the coming baby. Neighbors and friends chipped in what they could. Most of the things were reclamations and hand-me-downs, but to the beaming parents, they were perfect.

“Talk to him!” Marya would encourage Shatvi. “He should learn your voice too.” 

Shatvi placed one large warm hand on his wife’s growing belly. 

“We love you so much, Matheen. We're waiting for you." 

He is born almost without incident. There was the bit when Marya was found to be fully dilated with neither the midwife or Shatvi to be found anywhere. But she managed to hold on somehow until everyone was in position. 

Matheen Corbas Atvish was born during the third moon of Kevech of good weight and full body. He looked exactly like his dad.

Shatvi worked long hours doing maintenance at the local plant. Marya continued working her small droid repair business. It was a great way for her to take care of Matheen and still make money. Plus she loved it, and the droids loved Matheen. 

But one day when Matheen was almost three years old, Marya was working on a badly damaged BB unit while the boy played in the yard outside the repair shed. Shatvi was at work. One minute Marya was listening to the beautiful sounds of her son laughing and playing, and the next only silence. Marya’s heart froze. She sat still for a second straining to hear. Then shot out the door and into the yard so fast she knocked into the broken droid which fell and smashed to pieces. Matheen was nowhere to be found. Marya searched the yard. Frantically, she ran up and down the street banging on neighbors’ doors, but no one had seen him. She called Shatvi. She could barely articulate the words. 

They had come. The First Order. The nightmare people. And they had taken Matheen. 

Years passed with no news, no indication of how their son was doing or even if he still lived. Shatvi began to suggest that perhaps it was time to move on. But Marya refused. She kept all of his baby things. Every year, on the proper day, she would bring them out and sing to him and remember. 

One day, she told herself, told Shatvi, told anyone who would listen, she would see her boy again. And when she did, she would show him these things and she would say, 

“Your name is Matheen Corbas. And you are loved.”


	2. Holding On (Letting Go)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shatvi struggles with feelings of uselessness, but Marya's determination gives him an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two of a continuing series about Finn's birth parents and their search for their missing son.

Five years after the abduction, (“Matheen is eight this year.” Marya reminds her husband) Shatvi started to lose hope. So much time had passed and still no one would listen to them. They lived nearer the First Order side of what was supposed to be neutral space, which meant the Republic wouldn't help them and everyone else was too afraid. Most often, they were told their son had likely just wandered off.

“But he was barely three years old.” Marya would counter.

“Well maybe another villager kidnapped him. Or a local predator. You should have been watching him closer.” 

Another dismissal. Shatvi took hold of Marya’s hand and pulled her away as much to keep himself in check as his wife. 

“We will find him.” Marya would insist through tears and gritted teeth. “He is out there waiting for us in the clutches of those monsters. We can't give up.”

But Shatvi wasn't so sure. Even those who were sympathetic pointed out that once the First Order took a child, no one ever saw them again. So Shatvi began to say,

“Maybe we should start letting go. Maybe we should accept-”

“How dare you! Our son is out there having goodness knows what done to him, and you think maybe it's time to give up on him? Our sweet little boy, who should be here learning a love of machines from me and a love of cooking from you is instead being force fed violence. And you want to resign him to that?” Her fists were clenched on the table, her eyes wide and wet. 

“No, no I don't.” Shatvi sighed and rubbed his eyes. “But I don't know what else to do. How long can we go on like this?”

“As long as we must.” Marya answered, her eyes locked on his. “We don't stop. We don't let them silence us. We never give up. They can take our son, but we can't let them take our determination. We haven't failed as long as we keep trying.”

Shatvi nodded. He couldn't speak, could hardly believe he had entertained the thought of giving up. Marya’s faith reignited the same in his own heart. For now, he couldn't be sure it would ever be possible. He wouldn't risk saying anything to Marya yet, but her faith had ignited one other thing inside of him: an idea.   
***  
It took him five more years (“He is thirteen. A teenager. What does he even look like now?” Marya had asked on Matheen’s last birthday.) to save up, setting aside every half credit he could scrape from their meager income. He could finally reveal the idea he had on the day he nearly gave up hope.

Shatvi and Marya sat once again at the table. Shatvi reached out and took his wife's hand. She looked so careworn. Her black hair was streaked with grey, and the wrinkles around her mouth and eyes were deep, sad lines. But her brown eyes still held that same determination, the same indomitable spirit.

“Marya, do you remember the day I nearly gave up?” Shatvi asked gently.

“Psh. As if I would have let you.” She smiled back at him. She had forgiven him long ago for the temporary slip.

“And in all this time, we haven't stopped talking and asking. But now, I think it is time for something else. Come with me.”

Marya gave him a questioning look, but consented to follow. They walked hand in hand through the village, past the plant on the edge of town where Shatvi worked, and into the woods. 

“Where are we going?” Marya finally asked.

“Shh Just a little further.”

Ahead they could see the sun filtering through the trees and the beginnings of a clearing up ahead. Something seemed to glitter in the sun, and Shatvi clenched Marya's hand tighter with anticipation. 

They finally reached the clearing, and there it was. Truthfully, it wasn't much to look at. It was older than Matheen, full of spare parts and held together with mesh tape and hope, but it was theirs. And it could fly.

“Shatvi, how?” Marya let go of his hand and walked toward the freighter. She ran her hands reverently over the hull, feeling the metal like she couldn't believe it was real. 

“I saved up. Took extra shifts. Begged parts off of coworkers. Called in favors for the work it needed. I know you would have rather done it yourself, but I wanted it to be a surprise.” He put his arm around her. “Marya, we don't have to continue sitting here hoping for news. Now we can go look. Now we can finally do something.”

Marya turned, buried her face in Shatvi’s chest, and cried. 

That night, they began their search.


	3. Birthdays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marya reminisces about Matheen's birthdays through the years. This is horribly sad, and I am very sorry.

“He's eighteen now.”

“I know, Marya. I know.” 

“We have to keep searching.”

“We will. We are. We'll find him. Somehow.”

Marya thought to open her mouth again, thought better of it, and left her husband to pilot the ship. Five years they had been flying, taking odd jobs where they needed money, never settling down for long. They sometimes took on cargo in their little freighter, but never people. Shatvi didn't trust anyone. There wasn't really room anyway. 

They hopped from system to system. Marya was amazed the hyperdrive still worked, but she and Shatvi both had put plenty of loving care into the ship they had renamed the Matheen II. Marya's eyes surveyed the galactic map they had picked up three planets and two systems ago. She wasn't sure of how complete or even accurate it was, but it helped to keep track of where they had been. And where they still needed to check, which was admittedly the larger portion. Five years and they had barely searched their own quadrant. But they wouldn't give up. They couldn't. Matheen was out there. 

Eighteen years. What would he look like now? What is he thinking about? Did he know it was his birthday? She doubted they ever got parties.

Just as she had done on this day for the past fifteen years, Marya pulled out the box of Matheen’s baby things, and began to sing the birthday song. Most years, she rarely got through it without breaking down. 

The very first birthday Matheen missed was only a month after he was taken. Marya had simply sat in his room and cried. She fell asleep on Matheen's bedroom floor. When she awoke, Shatvi was there. He had shifted her head into his lap, absentmindedly stroking her hair while thumbing through pictures of Matheen on their one datapad. There were never enough pictures.

On Matheen's seventh birthday, Marya went to the authorities once again. Had anyone heard anything? Had anyone seen anything? When were they going to admit the First Order was behind this? Behind all the missing children? They had a whole list of them now, not that they ever put any effort into finding them. 

“Because you know who took them! You know what they are doing to them. And you won't help!”

Shatvi had to drag her out of the office before the authorities could decide to detain her. 

Matheen's ninth birthday they could barely speak to one another. Marya pulled out the box, but she barely sang. Shatvi got drunk.

Matheen's fourteenth birthday was a celebration. The freighter had brought them such hope. They felt like finding their son couldn't be far off. So they sang songs in the little ship's kitchen, and Shatvi baked a cake, well an approximation of a cake anyway. It almost tasted like victory.

But it was another four years later, and here they still were, barely making progress. They charted their course on rumors and half whispers. Stormtroopers cadets sighted on this or that planet, but never a trace left when Marya and Shatvi arrive. A moon the First Order takes all their cadets to for a ritual the year they turn sixteen that turned out to just be a rumor as the inhabitants of said moon had never heard of such a thing. And whispers, whispers of a Resistance.

The box was small. It used to be bigger, but over the years Marya had been persuaded to give away some of Matheen’s things to other new mothers who needed them. What was left in the box could only be traded for one thing: a hug from her son. 

There was a tiny outfit that was the first thing Matheen ever wore. It was tan in color and someone had stitched a- well after so many washings and wearings you couldn’t really tell what animal it was supposed to be. Beneath the outfit was a green and orange blanket that was given to them when Matheen was six months old and winter started to settle in. Marya had found it discarded in the dust the day Matheen was taken. There were some letters and blocks, far from a whole set. At the very bottom, nestled inside was the little wind-up star cruiser Marya had been making him for his third birthday. 

She took out each item and placed them on the table, carefully unfolding and smoothing the blanket and outfit and inspecting the toys. If she closed her eyes and buried her face in the blanket, she could almost catch the scent of Matheen’s shampoo. Tears stung her eyes as she softly sang.

_Happy birthday  
Our sweet son_

_Smile and laugh day  
Our sweet son_

Marya faltered, taking deep breaths to keep her tears at bay. Warm arms wrapped around her from behind, and a deep voice supported her own for the final verses.

_Truly we love you  
Our sweet son_

_All joy we wish you  
Fun and toys we give you_

_Our sweet son_


End file.
